it's 1.30 am now ... and i'm supposed to be in bed for my hair cut appointment tomorrow. (cheh! that made it sound like i'm going to some high-end salon! i'm not, BTW.)

just a short summary of what's happened since my last update.

- New York and London fashion week. i'll do a special post on my favorite looks. wish one day i'll be able to sit front row at one of the shows. or even better, next to Anna Wintour. FAINTS!
- alhamdulillah, fasting month ended well.
- i went cleaning-crazy on eve of Hari Raya. i vacuumed the whole house, wiped the windows till i can't see a speck of dust, wiped the curtain railing thingy, took out the curtains, put on the new curtains ... it's even better than 10hours in the gym. but my skin acted up and now pimples are infesting my beautiful face.
- Hari Raya was okay. except for the fact that i ACCIDENTALLY cut my fringe extremely short. and pretended to be camera shy during visit to Grandma. because i had to pull my hair back. and i looked like a fag.
- collection money this year suffered a little due to economic crisis. okay, i kid. but since turning 19 more of my uncles and aunts are unwilling to fork out even $2 as my duit raya. sigh. next year, it'll probably be my turn to give out the collection. SIGH.
- met my new stepgrandfather. step-STEP-grandfather, since he's my stepgrandma's new husband ... gosh, why's Mom's family always so complicated?!
- i neither lose nor gain weight.
- i bumped into Puteri today. and Mom said she's so pretty ... and i said all my friends are pretty. :) haha!

not much right? i know ... i don't really have a life.

hello.

...

i still haven't gotten over the fact that 2PM just lost their leader. i know, i'm THAT sad - and i wasn't even a mega huge fan of the boys. though i admit i DO have like their full album on my mp3. and to make it worse, an upcoming event's poster even had photoshopped Jae out of the group's picture. that's just ... SAD.

-.-

anyway ... let's move along. and just be happy Jae's safely back in Seattle and away from the evil fingers of those crazy netizens.

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i just realized i'mo more honest these days. like if i'm more vocal now - if i don't like something i'll say it out loud, straight to your face. even Mom kena. i know, very the dosa ... but she was seriously getting on my nerves (this was like last week?! a day before my TOTM - the period when my mood does yo-yo swings at full speed). i apologized (sincerely) after that though.

like i hate it when people force me to do something.

don't force me to eat. that's one thing i really REALLY hate the most. if i'm hungry, i WILL eat at my own time, own target. so if you do force me about eating ... i swear i'll blow. i'll erupt like a volcano. and it'll flood the whole house. everyone in sight will kena.

or forcing me to do something at the very moment. i don't like to rush. i take my own time to eat because i like to savor the food. i take my time to do make up or get ready because i just like taking the time to make myself pretty. i want to slowly apply eyeliner or slowly blow dry my hair. i want to have the time to think about what i should do with my hair.

so i get pissed if people rush me. like if i said give me 5 minutes ... just listen to me. i WILL do it in 5 minutes time, and i will do it really quick. though i take time to eat or get ready, i amazingly do my work/chores really quickly.

like Mom understands me now. back then she used to force me to wash plates and stuff ... now she just lets me take my own time. because trust me, i can get it done in a minute flat. and i do it really well and meticulous too.:)

i don't know why i changed so much as i turn older. i used to be the girl who kept my feelings to myself because i don't want to hurt someone. and that i'm too cautious of what people might think of me.

now i guess i simply don't care. i don't care about what you think of my looks or what's your impression of my views ... maybe i've grown tired of impressing people. don't you ever have those moments where you just want to do what you really want and don't give a damn about others?

usually Hari Raya i'd have like 4 or 5 sets of baju kurung or kebaya ready by now. this year i only have one. right ... ONE. just for the first day. i'll just wear something from the previous years for the other days. why waste right? since i've only worn most of my Raya clothes like ... once.

i don't care if my makciks mengumpat or talk bad about it - that my parents can't afford to buy me new clothes or that i don't wear any gold (i HATE gold ... the type of gold the makciks would stack on their arms and neck that i find it amazing they can still lift their arms with all the weight).

if they'd care so much why don't they buy me new clothes?!

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okay i'm ranting. been feeling to moody these few days. this entry feels like word vomit. everything just comes out without thinking. haha ... typical Niza post eh.

but really, i no longer get the need to buy so many clothes just for a couple of days' events. i just recycle. and people can talk for all i care.

oooh... my Korean drama has started. must go watch. final episode ... haha!

today's been one of the WORST day ever. two reasons.

1. my body's aching. started from a shoulder pain ... and somehow it became what it is right now. and my left hand's paralyzed. i can't really move it ... damn. now i smell of Salonpas plaster.

and i really hate the smell of it.

2. 2PM's leader/the hot guy with all that bulging arm muscle has call it quits - all because some bored underage Korean netizens posted some anti-Korea messages Jaebum made on his MySpace in 2005. which was like 4 years ago before his debut. and the dude's American. and we all know how uptight the Korean community is.

apparently the controversy went out of control - some anti-fans even had petitions to have Jae commit suicide (whuT?!). 2PM's shows were canceled ... and now, the man himself has apologized.

and made an official statement that he's quitting 2PM and all activities in Korea. because he's going back to America to his family.

X.X

i like 2PM. they're funny bunch of boys who feels so natural and real. and the fact that all 7 of them are really good-looking and manly helps win my vote.

but 2PM won't be the same without Jae. gosh, he's the LEADER! it's like taking CL out of 2NE1 ... no more fierceness. hope JYP won't change or add any new member though. i like the boys as they are now ... even without Jae.

i'm still in denial and hoping it's some sick joke for their Wild Bunny show or something. doesn't hurt to be that optimistic.

it's so funny how little things get blown out of proportion by the Korean media/netizens. all those celebrity suicide cases ... it must be THAT hard to be one famous person there. it's like worse than Hollywood.

because people do not know that even the smallest of issue can kill someone. and to think that the person doesn't think about his/her actions ... mostly because netizens are like what... 13/14? kiddos ... go do your homework or help your mom out with chores.

the world will be less peaceful without all the random hating.

Gdragon - Breathe @ Music bank



might switch to HD IF i can find one.











people have been commenting on my nose. that it looks different. especially those who've known me for quite some time.

no. i didn't get a nose job - it's HARAM. even if i want to, i can't afford it. i'd rather fix my protruding jaw instead. or get a whole new set of veneers.

i guess it's just makeup. or that my habit of pulling my nose every single morning (and noon and night) has paid off.

to be honest, i didn't even realize any difference to my nose - or any other part of my face. but thanks for pointing it out.